Roxie: Hey, Jade! Do you know what today is?
Jade: Today is my full-body grooming day. Today is a day I like to be left alone... Today is like every other day.
Roxie: Left alone. Gotcha! ...Jade!
Roxie: Jade, come quick! Today is also the one-week anniversary of you letting me be your roommate, so I wanted to do something nice for you to say thanks. So, I got you a cake! It's a Roxie-and-Jade-shaped cake! And you're poking it, and now you're kind of pushing it... Right up to the edge, there...? Huh? And now it's on the floor.
Mr. Yut: Hmm.
Mr. Yut: Something must be bothering you. You haven't touched your food.
Roxie: Oh, gosh, you're right! [Munching] [Burp] Oops.
Mr. Yut: So, something isn't bothering you.
Roxie: Oh, something's bothering me. I keep trying to do nice things for Jade to say, "Thanks, I love being your roommate!" But nothing seems to work... How do I get her something she'll like?
Mr. Yut: Ah, I see what's happening here. I sounded like I was interested in your problem! My mistake. Gotta go.
Gladys: Trouble at home?
Yamua: You wanna make somepet happy? There's nothing like a big thing o' honey. You put that on anything, turns a rainy day sunny!
Gladys: And jam, plum jam.
Yamua: No, strawberry jam on a sesame cracker.
Roxie: [Gasps] I'll make her a snack! Who doesn't like that?
Jade: [Yawns] Mm.
Roxie: Incoming snack attack! [Grunts] [Whimpers]
Roxie: I'll just...go.
Pearl: Somepet made a mess outta you.
Roxie: [Sighs] I made a mess out of me. I make a mess out of everything. All I wanna do is get Jade the perfect gift to show her how much I love being her roommate.
Pearl: Jade Catkin? Hm. I don't know her so good, but I don't know any pet who doesn't love the soundtrack album from Cats A-Poppin'.
Roxie: Ah, show tunes!
[Loud Cats A-Poppin' Music]
Jade: Whoa! Huh?
Roxie: [Whimpers] Oh...
Trip: My paw-fu is mightier than yours, ghost lizard!
Quincy: [Grunts] Take that, frog monster.
Roxie: Hey, guys!
Quincy: [Screams] [Groans]
Trip: He can fight frog monsters, but "hello" makes him faint. What's up?
Roxie: I'm trying to do something nice for Jade 'cause I'm so happy that we're roommates, but everything I try backfires.
Trip: Three words: Inflatable frog monster.
Roxie: Fourth word: Huh?
Trip: They make inflatable punching bag versions of the monsters in this video game. Any time Jade gets frustrated, she can just pound on the frog. [Fighting cries] Totally beats discussing your feelings, and it's great cardio and totally cool. And if anyone knows cool, haha, it's me and Quincy! We'll hook you up.
Roxie: Awesome, thanks!
Quincy: I'm back. Did I miss anything?
Trip: [Fighting cries] Oof! Oww!
Quincy: Whoa, this V.R. stuff almost feels real!
Edie: Oh! Hmm. [Gasps]
Unnamed walrus: I don't enjoy being spoofed, thank you very much.
Edie: Hmm. Roxie!
Edie: What brings you to the park today?
Roxie: Oh, I-
Edie: Speaking of "I," I've decided this is the prime spot for pet-watching. So many things I can bring to my acting. I'm filled with so much theatrical rapture, I could explode!
Roxie: Please don't, I value our friendship.
Edie: What can Edie do for you?
Roxie: I'm trying to do something nice for Jade. No matter what I do, I can't seem to make her happy.
Edie: Validate her presence in the scene, make her feel that she's being heard and that you understand what she's saying.
Roxie: I don't understand what you're saying.
Edie: If she's having a bad day, express sympathy. "Oh, Jade, you have a hairball? Oh, that's too bad!" If she makes one of her trademark snarky jokes, laugh at it. [Laughs] If she-
Roxie: If she's mad because somehow or other, I chewed up the purple pillow off the sofa and threw up in the corner, I say, "[Gasps] I'm sorry, I'll put it back together!"
Edie: ...Ish...? Just make it clear you understand her concerns. And if pillows upset your tummy, darling, don't eat them.
Roxie: Hah! "Don't eat pillows." Hah, good one! Thanks!
Jade: [Coughs] Ack! Downside of grooming: Tongue hair.
Trip: Jade, you here?
Jade: Litter box.
Trip: Roxie wants us to leave this for you. Knock yourself out! Heh, "knock yourself out..."
Trip: You're welcome!
Inflatable frog monster: Ribbit.
Roxie: Bev, I need some advice.
Bev: Chew your food carefully, exercise every day, don't get glue in your glitter.
Roxie: More like personal advice.
Bev: 'Kay, always happy to multi-task... You talk, I'll glitterate.
Roxie: I really wanna do something that will make Jade happy. Trip says, "Inflatable frog monster," and Edie says, "validate and respond!" I was hoping...you'd have some ideas, too?
Bev: Easy! Scented candle, bayberry. Promotes tranquility. I know a rottweiler who can make you one.
Roxie: Thanks, Bev!
Roxie: Hi, Jadie-Lady! How's the full body grooming day going?
Jade: Mm, taking a little longer than I thought. I had to deal with a hairball bigger than my head.
Roxie: Oh, no! That's terrible! I validate your tragedy. [Whispering] I'm here for you, no matter what.
Jade: Whoa, whoa, wh- Not that big a deal, just a curve ball from a hairball.
Roxie: [Guffaws] Curve ball! One of your trademark jokes! [Laughs] Wanna take a turn? [Cackles]
Inflatable frog monster: Ribbit.
Jade: I... want to throw a net over you. You are losing it.
Roxie: No, I'm not! [Fighting grunt] I'm tranquil! Smell that bayberry tranquility! [Sniff] Mm-
[Smoke detector beeping]
Roxie: [Nervous laughter]
Roxie: Ugh, no, this isn't right! Jade, I-
Roxie: Maybe I should-
Roxie: Or I could-
Roxie: ...I'll just go to my room.
Pearl: So, how many times have ya listened to the Cats A-Poppin' soundtrack?
Jade: Lemme think. Zero.
Pearl: Ugh, but I told Roxie to get it for ya! She's goin' all over, every which where, tryin' to do something nice to please ya.
Jade: That's why she's been so weird all day? Ugh, that dog never stops. Why would she think I'm not pleased?
Pearl: Beats me. Maybe you should ask her.
Roxie: Thanks for bringing your crew on short notice, Shamrock. I soaked the place, the least I can do it get it dried out.
Shamrock: No problem, Miss. Okay, boys, next cleanup is on the LPS Cruise Ship. Sounds like the sloth party got a little out of hand.
Unnamed parrot: Again? Ah, those sloths. We can't keep up with 'em!
Roxie: Sorry, Jade. Just getting everything dry.
Jade: Yeah, I see! I got you something. [Giggles]
Roxie: You got me a cake?
Jade: The cake's not the present. This is the present: "A Roxie-and-Jade cake? That's incredible! What a thoughtful gesture!" That's what I should have said this morning, instead of...
Roxie: Knocking the cake on the floor?
Jade: I'm a cat - just because I knock a thing off a counter doesn't mean I don't like it.
Roxie: What? Really?
Jade: I should've let you know that I thought the cake was cool. All the stuff you do for me is cool! Except the purple pillow thing, I still smell that in my sleep.
Roxie: Wow... So destroying the cake and walking away was your way of saying you liked it!
Jade: Exactly. For a cat, pushing a cake off a counter is as good a feeling as a dog gets eating it.
Roxie: Whoa-hoho, cats are interesting.
Jade: We're different, but that's cool. I guess we're still learning about each other.
Roxie: Hah! Fun fact: If I don't hear "Good girl, Roxie!" 20 times a day, I chew the fur off my bottom.
Jade: Uh... Some things should remain a mystery.
Roxie: Hah, I like my present. Can I eat it now?
Jade: Go to town! Are you gonna use that, or...?
Go to town! [Munching] [Slurping]