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Roxie: Hey, Jade! Do you know what today is?

Jade: Today is my full-body grooming day. Today is a day I like to be left alone... Today is like every other day.

Roxie: Left alone. Gotcha! ...Jade!

Jade: Huh?

Roxie: Jade, come quick! Today is also the one-week anniversary of you letting me be your roommate, so I wanted to do something nice for you to say thanks. So, I got you a cake! It's a Roxie-and-Jade-shaped cake! And you're poking it, and now you're kind of pushing it... Right up to the edge, there...? Huh? And now it's on the floor.

[Transition]

Mr. Yut: Hmm.

Roxie: Huh?

Mr. Yut: Something must be bothering you. You haven't touched your food.

Roxie: Oh, gosh, you're right! [Munching] [Burp] Oops.

Mr. Yut: So, something isn't bothering you.

Roxie: Oh, something's bothering me. I keep trying to do nice things for Jade to say, "Thanks, I love being your roommate!" But nothing seems to work... How do I get her something she'll like?

Mr. Yut: Ah, I see what's happening here. I sounded like I was interested in your problem! My mistake. Gotta go.

Roxie: [Sighs]

Gladys: Trouble at home?

Yamua: You wanna make somepet happy? There's nothing like a big thing o' honey. You put that on anything, turns a rainy day sunny!

Gladys: And jam, plum jam.

Yamua: No, strawberry jam on a sesame cracker.

Roxie: [Gasps] I'll make her a snack! Who doesn't like that?

[Transition]

Jade: [Yawns] Mm.

Roxie: Incoming snack attack! [Grunts] [Whimpers]

Jade: [Growls]

Roxie: I'll just...go.

[Transition]

Pearl: Somepet made a mess outta you.

Roxie: [Sighs] I made a mess out of me. I make a mess out of everything. All I wanna do is get Jade the perfect gift to show her how much I love being her roommate.

Pearl: Jade Catkin? Hm. I don't know her so good, but I don't know any pet who doesn't love the soundtrack album from Cats A-Poppin'.

Roxie: Ah, show tunes!

[Transition]
[Loud Cats A-Poppin' Music]

Jade: Whoa! Huh?

Roxie: [Whimpers] Oh...

[Transition]

Quincy: [Grunting]

Roxie: [Gasp]

Trip: My paw-fu is mightier than yours, ghost lizard!

Quincy: [Grunts] Take that, frog monster.

Roxie: Hey, guys!

Quincy: [Screams] [Groans]

Trip: He can fight frog monsters, but "hello" makes him faint. What's up?

Roxie: I'm trying to do something nice for Jade 'cause I'm so happy that we're roommates, but everything I try backfires.

Trip: Three words: Inflatable frog monster.

Roxie: Fourth word: Huh?

Trip: They make inflatable punching bag versions of the monsters in this video game. Any time Jade gets frustrated, she can just pound on the frog. [Fighting cries] Totally beats discussing your feelings, and it's great cardio and totally cool. And if anyone knows cool, haha, it's me and Quincy! We'll hook you up.

Roxie: Awesome, thanks!

Quincy: I'm back. Did I miss anything?

Trip: [Fighting cries] Oof! Oww!

Quincy: Whoa, this V.R. stuff almost feels real!

[Transition]

Edie: Oh! Hmm. [Gasps]

Unnamed walrus: I don't enjoy being spoofed, thank you very much.

Edie: Hmm. Roxie!

Roxie: [Gasps]

Edie: What brings you to the park today?

Roxie: Oh, I-

Edie: Speaking of "I," I've decided this is the prime spot for pet-watching. So many things I can bring to my acting. I'm filled with so much theatrical rapture, I could explode!

Roxie: Please don't, I value our friendship.

Edie: What can Edie do for you?

Roxie: I'm trying to do something nice for Jade. No matter what I do, I can't seem to make her happy.

Edie: Validate her presence in the scene, make her feel that she's being heard and that you understand what she's saying.

Roxie: I don't understand what you're saying.

Edie: If she's having a bad day, express sympathy. "Oh, Jade, you have a hairball? Oh, that's too bad!" If she makes one of her trademark snarky jokes, laugh at it. [Laughs] If she-

Roxie: If she's mad because somehow or other, I chewed up the purple pillow off the sofa and threw up in the corner, I say, "[Gasps] I'm sorry, I'll put it back together!"

Edie: ...Ish...? Just make it clear you understand her concerns. And if pillows upset your tummy, darling, don't eat them.

Roxie: Hah! "Don't eat pillows." Hah, good one! Thanks!

[Transition]

Jade: [Coughs] Ack! Downside of grooming: Tongue hair.

Trip: Jade, you here?

Jade: Litter box.

Trip: Roxie wants us to leave this for you. Knock yourself out! Heh, "knock yourself out..."

Quincy: [Laughs]

Trip: You're welcome!

Jade: Hm?

Inflatable frog monster: Ribbit.

[Transition]

Bev: Glitterate!

Roxie: Bev, I need some advice.

Bev: Chew your food carefully, exercise every day, don't get glue in your glitter.

Roxie: More like personal advice.

Bev: 'Kay, always happy to multi-task... You talk, I'll glitterate.

Roxie: I really wanna do something that will make Jade happy. Trip says, "Inflatable frog monster," and Edie says, "validate and respond!" I was hoping...you'd have some ideas, too?

Bev: Easy! Scented candle, bayberry. Promotes tranquility. I know a rottweiler who can make you one.

Roxie: Thanks, Bev!

[Transition]

Roxie: Hi, Jadie-Lady! How's the full body grooming day going?

Jade: Mm, taking a little longer than I thought. I had to deal with a hairball bigger than my head.

Roxie: Oh, no! That's terrible! I validate your tragedy. [Whispering] I'm here for you, no matter what.

Jade: Whoa, whoa, wh- Not that big a deal, just a curve ball from a hairball.

Roxie: [Guffaws] Curve ball! One of your trademark jokes! [Laughs] Wanna take a turn? [Cackles]

Inflatable frog monster: Ribbit.

Jade: I... want to throw a net over you. You are losing it.

Roxie: No, I'm not! [Fighting grunt] I'm tranquil! Smell that bayberry tranquility! [Sniff] Mm-

[Smoke detector beeping]

Roxie: [Nervous laughter]

Jade: Hmm.

Roxie: Ugh, no, this isn't right! Jade, I-

Jade: Nope.

Roxie: Maybe I should-

Jade: Nope.

Roxie: Or I could-

Jade: Nope.

Roxie: ...I'll just go to my room.

[Transition]

Pearl: So, how many times have ya listened to the Cats A-Poppin' soundtrack?

Jade: Lemme think. Zero.

Pearl: Ugh, but I told Roxie to get it for ya! She's goin' all over, every which where, tryin' to do something nice to please ya.

Jade: That's why she's been so weird all day? Ugh, that dog never stops. Why would she think I'm not pleased?

Pearl: Beats me. Maybe you should ask her.

Jade: Hmm...

[Transition]

Roxie: Thanks for bringing your crew on short notice, Shamrock. I soaked the place, the least I can do it get it dried out.

Shamrock: No problem, Miss. Okay, boys, next cleanup is on the LPS Cruise Ship. Sounds like the sloth party got a little out of hand.

Unnamed parrot: Again? Ah, those sloths. We can't keep up with 'em!

Roxie: Sorry, Jade. Just getting everything dry.

Jade: Yeah, I see! I got you something. [Giggles]

Roxie: You got me a cake?

Jade: The cake's not the present. This is the present: "A Roxie-and-Jade cake? That's incredible! What a thoughtful gesture!" That's what I should have said this morning, instead of...

Roxie: Knocking the cake on the floor?

Jade: I'm a cat - just because I knock a thing off a counter doesn't mean I don't like it.

Roxie: What? Really?

Jade: I should've let you know that I thought the cake was cool. All the stuff you do for me is cool! Except the purple pillow thing, I still smell that in my sleep.

Roxie: Wow... So destroying the cake and walking away was your way of saying you liked it!

Jade: Exactly. For a cat, pushing a cake off a counter is as good a feeling as a dog gets eating it.

Roxie: Whoa-hoho, cats are interesting.

Jade: We're different, but that's cool. I guess we're still learning about each other.

Roxie: Hah! Fun fact: If I don't hear "Good girl, Roxie!" 20 times a day, I chew the fur off my bottom.

Jade: Uh... Some things should remain a mystery.

Roxie: Hah, I like my present. Can I eat it now?

Jade: Go to town! Are you gonna use that, or...?

Roxie: Go to town! [Munching] [Slurping]
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